Chapter 7 The Lords Prayer 12/17/09

My life is so messed up now! Father has decided to leave mother and I have to stay with mother!! I give up. I have been doing stuff just to make mother mad so maybe she will beat me to death. So far she hasn't gotten that mad. We went to the store one day and of course mother did not want to make a scene so I kept mouthing off to my brothers just to make them mad. I paid for my rebellion as soon as we walked out of the store. After we got home though, my punishment was the "gas chamber." Now I'm back to my old wimpy self again:(

chapter 6 While Father Is Away 12/14/09

Dad has avoided coming home as much as possible ever since the stabbing. When he was home it was to get a change of clothes or to get something else he really needed. He was never there longer than 10 minutes. One day when he stooped down to tell me how sorry he was, The change in his physical appearance was shocking. He had dark circles under his eyes, and he looked so tired. He kept telling me that he would come back and me and him would move out, but its just his fantasy. Mother is still playing her sick game and starving me. It's harder during break and summer because I don't have the chance to sneak off and steal food. The few times that I was given food though, mother locked me in a room with a bucket filled with a mixture of Clorox and Amonia, which ended up making it so I couldn't breath. I don't know what to do anymore. She is going to regret everything she has done to me. I'll make sure of that.

Chapter 5 The Accident 12/11/09

OK this time she has gone to far! she called me up to clean up after supper, threatening, while waving a carving knife around, that if i didnt finish on time she was going to kill me. I didnt think anything of it, since she says that so often. Russell is watching me as he rocks back and forth on mothers leg, as if riding a stick pony. Mothers eyes are glazed over, as usual. But something is different this time. She bagan to weave back and forth, as if she were about to fall flat on her face. I saw somthing shiny flash towards me seconds before I felt the knife plunge into my body, right above my stomach, causing me to collapse and black out. As I came to, I could feel the warm liquid flowing from my chest. I looked around realizing that I was propped up on the toilet in the bathroom with mother hastingly placing gauze on my wound, as Russell chanted " Davids going to die, the Boys going to die." That was the last thing I heard before blacking out again. As I came to again, I was certain mother would load me into the car and take me to the hospital with a bogus story about how I was playing with a knife. I thought for sure that this little game of hers was over, that I was going to be a normal part of the family again. I was taken by suprise as mother finished wrapping my wound and told me without emotion that I now had 30 minutes to finish my chores. Dumbfounded, I walked back towards the kitchen with what little strength I had. I walked into the room where my father sat reading the newspaper. I told him what mother had done, but he just sat there telling me that I had better get busy and do my chores before mother came in and caught me. I washed and dried the dishes, but was unable to put them away so father did that for me. I went downstairs to change my shirt, but mother met me at the bottom. She gently tore my shirt away from my body and cleaned the wound. She then allowed me to play outside with my brothers. As I went to bed, I fell asleep dreaming of being drenched in warm sheets of hot rain. I woke the next morning covered in blood. Mother is acting as if nothing has happened. I fell asleep sitting on the bottom step, dreaming that I was SUPERMAN!!

Chapter 4 The Fight for Food 12/11/09

"Mother is just getting forgetful" was my excuse everytime she wouldn't feed me. I am always so hungry now that I have taken to stealing my classmates lunches and adding them to my own. I think that she is just trying to humiliate me now. She makes me wear the same outfit everyday now, causing me to get made fun of at school by my classmates. Father did his best to help me, but him and the witch would always end up fighting late into the night. The ending result was him storming out with his overnight bag packed. He tries but I think she scares him. When I entered fourth grade my teacher Ms Moss started paying attention to the condition of my body and clothes. She questioned me, but I told her the lies that the witch had come up with. Well Ms. Moss talked to the principle, who called my mother, and told her about the teachers concerns. Mother later told me how she dressed up and came and talked to him, telling him how I was unruly and imposible to control at home. She is a pretty good liar. Later that year, when we went on our family vacation, mother made me stay home while father took the other two boys out. Not long after they left, she walks up to me and smashes a diaper full of feces in my face, and then makes me eat it!! I hate my life!! I will one day repay her for all she has done to me.

Chapter 3 Bad Boy 12/8/09

I almost gave up today. Again I did something wrong and mother punished me, by punching my face. I put my arm up to shield my face, but I soon found out that that was a mistake. Mother stumbled and yanked my arm to keep from falling. As she yanked my arm though, there was a pop and a sharp pain shot through my arm. Tonight at supper I couldn't even move my arm, meaning I couldn't feed myself. Mother ignored my pleading looks for help. After a while she got aggravated and sent me to bed without eating. She made me sleep on the top bunk, which was very unusual, since my bed is the bottom bunk. A little while later she came and woke me up telling me i had taken a nasty fall from the top bunk, hurting my arm. That's the story she told the doctor at hospital. But if I gave up then she wins and i refuse to let that happen. I'm goint to keep my head held high.

Chapter 2 Good Times 12/4/09

I was thinking back on how great our family used to be. We always had an amazing time when we would spend time together as a family. Mom would always think up fun trips for our family to take. I can honestly say that we never got bored in the past. Since my dad is a firefighter and worked alot of hours, my mom would take my brothers and I on random trips to Chinatown or through the park. I really wish that I could figure out what I did that was so bad that I deserved to be beat for it. I'm trying so hard to please her but it doesn't seem to be working. I just want to curl up in a ball and die sometimes. If I did that, though, that means that she wins and I refuse to let her do that. I'm going to keep my head held high and get through this.

Chapter 1 The Rescue 12/2/09

Mother seems really aggrivated today, which means that I'm going to have to be extremely careful to please her. This morning I was doing dishes while listening to her rush around getting my brothers ready for school. Well she walked into the kitchen and caught me with my hands out of the dishwater. I have a few goosebumps on the top of my head from the blow, and a bruise under my eye from my face striking the counter. After I finished what little food was left from my brother's breakfast, I caught a ride to school with them. As we neared my school, mom told me to tell the teachers that I ran into the door by accident. As I walked into the school I was called right into the nurse's office for my daily body exam. Again I lied about my injuries, even though the nurse already knows what goes on at my house. But my horrible day turned into my finally being freed. The teachers at the school risked their jobs and called the police, who came in and took my statment and looked at the notes the nurse had jotted down that morning. I will always be greatful for everything that they did for me.